Smart Girl World

It’s Your Girl Speaking, Stay Focused!

By: Hailey  Carlson,

“The past is like a boomerang– You throw it into the distance, and no matter how hard you want it to go away, it will always return.”

In life, your feelings get hurt, emotions run ramped, and naive decisions take over. It’s nature to act like an insane animal during the younger days. It’s the only way to learn from right and wrong. To learn what is respectable and what is not.

Looking back, I was the worlds biggest bitch not knowingly. I was lost, confused– a walking mess with a smile plastered across my face. I was defiant and a fighter for all the wrong reasons.

Seeing myself now makes me more proud then ever. I have grown into someone that is still a fighter, but fights against wrong decisions. Now, I will never put my fists up ready for that fight from vacuous whispers or because someone threw water at me. I now know to shake my hair out and move on.

But from what I have recently learned from these past two months, people only see what they want to see. It doesn’t matter how much of a better person you have created, people will always hold that image of the bad, not what is currently good. I call it the “Boomerang” effect.

No matter how hard you try to throw away the past, it will always return. Ex hookups thinking they have the right for that “back in”, girls hating from a now irrelevant drama from three years ago, past girlfriends trying to ruin your current affairs– we all deal with it. No matter how hard you try to stop the returning drama, it comes back.

How to stop the issue? It starts with you. Forget everyone else and start with you. You are the future. No matter how hard you what to prove to people that you are a better person, sometimes it simply wont do. Actions speak louder than words, so concentrate on just that.

 1. It’s never worth it. ever.  Being thrown out from a party because “so and so doesn’t like you”, people purposefully talking about you over social media, so on and so forth– it’s never worth the fight. People want to see your reaction; it’s what they feed off of. Don’t give them the satisfactory of you breaking down; it’s what they want. You are just going to let them win. As hard as it may come, walk away. Breathe, walk away, and let it go.

2. Say “Hello” to people regardless what happened in the past. I am going to make    this loud and clear to you– This isn’t being “Fake.” Giving a simple “hello” and (if you are bold enough) a hug begins to opens doors. Simple affection, like so, gives people the idea that you are trying to warm up to them, in response, people warm up to you. Being friendly lightens up the mood.

3.  If it has been one year +, break it off. Whenever a situation happens or drama occurs, feelings are always hurt. The fresher the problem the harder it is to clean the wound. Everything takes time to heal– it cannot be forced. But, if it has been a year plus, It’s time to drop it and move on. I call it the “one year rule.” Holding onto grudges and drama that has happened year ago is unnecessary and will never do anyone justice. There is no need to harbor the situation if it gives no justice to one another. It only festers and creates new problems that shouldn’t begin. Leave it behind and move on forward.

 

Keeping those three initial keys in your head can potentially show people the new, different side of you. It might not erase everything that has been written down in the books, but, it shows a new chapter in your new self.

STAY FOCUSED.

(photo here)

2 Comments

  • linda

    i like what you have to say here. all very great tips to let things go.

    although, i feel like some of your points contradict with your earlier post regarding people who sometimes just don’t belong in your present or future. we can’t solve all problems and some things are better left in the past. therefore i think the “say hello” tip would only work in some instances where you want to let things go or if the situation allows for forgiveness. otherwise, it would be forced, even if you don’t hold a grudge or care for that matter.

    i always appreciate what you have to say on this blog. =)

    • Dominica

      Aw thanks for your comment Linda! Ya one of my friends sent me over some feelings she was writing down from past life experiences. I think she just felt at times when you should let go of people and put them in your past, it’s still worth it to try one last time to be nice and show someone you’ve changed or that you still care. If nothing changes let go of the situation, but it’s still worth it to give it that one last shot! Thanks for the support and your comment about your feelings towards the blog!

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